Broken Arm: Part 1

As I gripped my arm in the passenger’s seat while my husband drove a bit over the speed limit, I knew my summer was not going to go as planned.

Life often gets derailed in a moment, a fraction of a second. All of the plans that were thought about for countless hours are now suspended into midair. It is not that they will fail to come to fruition, but that it was misunderstood when they should… when they are meant to.

My arm was broken. My “dream pony” bucked me off and I landed in a way that broke my radius bone into pieces! Seeing my arm with a lump and at an unnatural angle was startling. At first, I did not feel any pain, just the adrenaline and urge to get to a hospital and fix it as soon as possible. But as minutes ticked by, the pain slowly became more present, more real. The reality of not being able to be fixed right away was terrifying. There was literally nothing I could do to make the pain go away or fix my arm any faster. I was at the mercy of the hospital staff.

There are times in life when you can do nothing but feel the pain you are going through. Feeling pain is part of the healing process. Feeling pain is part of gaining life experience that will lead you through future trials. Feeling pain and learning how to conquer it is a tool God equips all of His warriors with; all great warriors have tales of woe, and their testimonies are their shields.

While waiting to have my arm “reduced”, it never crossed my mind of what that actually meant. To reduce means to make less, and I was all about less pain, but sometimes reducing can be difficult. Reducing a broken bone is difficult for the injured person. It is difficult because in order to get to less pain, you have to go through a brief time of GREATER pain.

It took all the courage and faith I could muster to trust and believe the doctor and nurses who were helping me. I had to believe them when they said, “It will hurt, but it will not last long, and you will feel much better.”

Isn’t that the hardest part? To harness the willingness to push aside fear, worry, contentment, and anger to truly overcome an obstacle in life with the simple act of faith. It may best be illustrated by picturing the “trust fall” into a group of co-workers in hopes they all catch you. The great news is, Jesus always catches you, and He always sees your faith.

After a few moments of uncontrolled screaming, my arm was reduced and my pain was much less. I was still “broken”, but the pieces of my arm were pretty close to being back in their natural place. Surgery was required to complete the alignment and reconstruction, but the mending had begun, and mending has stages.

You see, my “dream pony” was a cute little Norwegian Fjord named Moon. I have always loved Fjords, and they are not common. I brought her home to live on our farm less than two months after losing my heart horse, Bob. He passed away very unexpectedly from complications due to colic. When I decided to bring Moon home, I briefly felt as though it was too soon after losing Bob, but I wanted a distraction from my heartache and ignored that feeling. I also believed Moon was meant for our family, because we had attempted to bring her to our farm before, but fate decided otherwise then.

Looking back on bringing Moon to our home, I believe God was trying to tell me something. He was saying, “This isn’t meant to be.”

Living by faith is not just about pushing away fear, worry, contentment, and anger. It is also learning to slow down in the exciting parts of life, and asking God what He thinks. I was sad about losing Bob, I didn’t want to feel sad, so I found something to be excited about. I believe that twinge of “rushing” I felt before bringing Moon home was the Lord, but I chose to hear myself over Him.

I have learned that excitement brought by the world and my own orchestration does not last. It fades quickly, and sometimes leaves a “scar”. Excitement brought by waiting on the Lord and His timing is different. It has a weightiness to it, packed with deep insight and substantial lessons that only add to the spirit. It has little, delicious details that can only be enjoyed by not rushing, and usually no broken bones are involved.

To be continued… God Bless!